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| I started this job last August a different person from who I am now, and for the most part, I'm not happy with the change.
When I got home yesterday after another tumultuous day at work, I immediately launched into the same frustrated rant that I subject Jane Ann to every now and then. Later in the night, as I continued to replay the day (and previous days) in my head, I realized something: I was complaining a lot about the state of affairs, but I couldn't remember the last time I was actively involved and fully engaged in improving it.
I entered into this job with a lot of trepidation. I remember wondering, "Am I going to be able to do this job? Do I have the skills to contribute and be successful?" I was mostly worried about getting my bearings and not making a fool of myself. Nine months later, I have my bearings and my confidence; I've found my niche and I've wedged myself solidly into it.
It's a secure feeling, having a niche. It means every issue that comes along can be divided into two categories: My Problem, and Someone Else's Problem. To an extent, this is a good thing; if My Problems get my full attention, I can get them resolved faster and at a higher level of quality. Of course there's the ugly side; the That's Not My Problem (shrug) Cop Out.
To be fair to myself, this isn't a case where someone asks me to do something, and I reply, "that's not my problem." It's the case where I recognize that a problem exists, but then ask myself, "Is that my responsibility to fix?", and if the answer is no, then, "Is the time it takes to raise this issue with other people worth the loss of time I can spend on my own tasks (by which my performance can be directly measured)?"
Okay, that actually doesn't sound much better. What happened to the Stanford student who took pride in teamwork and the quality of a project as a whole, not just his part? What happened to the desire and will I had to find opportunities for meaningful contributions, rather than just scratch off items from my todo list? When did I stop asking myself how I could contribute to the whole and help those around me succeed with me, rather than hunkering down and making sure that nothing could be blamed on me?
I had a very sleepless night last night - I tossed and turned and got up several times as these thoughts ran through my head. As the sun came up, though, I realized that what had begun earlier in the day as turmoil and despondency had been replaced by a renewed sense of excitement. Now that I recognize what has been dragging my spirits down these past few months, I have an opportunity to change course and do things right. Just thinking like my old self again makes me feel better. | | |
| This is the best-written, most interesting article I've read in a long time. It's mostly a discussion of consumption and happiness, but it draws together topics like economic theory, environmental impact, and the growth of individualism, from one of my favorite independent publications, Mother Jones.
http://www.motherjones.com/news/feature/2007/03/reversal_of_fortune.html
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| Okay, so technically, crab night was two weeks ago... but these days, I'm pretty sluggish with my xanga posts, so nobody should be surprised. Jane Ann and I went out to Half Moon Bay to pick up some live crab from the fishermen at the docks.
While we were talking to the first fisherman, it started to rain. By the time we got to the second boat, it was pouring, so we bought six huge crabs and got the hell out of there. It was a good thing my jacket was waterproof:
These crabs were huge! They barely all fit in the cooler that we brought, and they definitely didn't want to go in - they were pretty feisty, actually.
Two huge pots of boiling water + ten people = lots of feasting! Crab is actually ridiculously easy to cook. As long as they've been in an icy cooler for a while, they're pretty sluggish. The struggle for a split second when you put them in the boiling water... but that's all.
We had so much fun, Jane Ann and I decided to host a potluck at our place for Chinese New Year's. So if you're interested, let me know and I'll send you the evite.  | | |
| - be more positive
- get back in touch with old friends
- make new friends
- develop a better relationship with my sisters
- develop a better relationship with my parents
- let people know I care (more often)
- make Jane Ann happy
(to be continued...)
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| I'm back! Okay, technically, I've been back for over a week now. We flew into LAX last Thursday night, which involved a 2-hour delay in our flight leaving from Denver, and then when we got into LAX, terminal 4 was closed off, so getting back to Jane Ann's house took a good 2 hours. I flew back into SJC Saturday afternoon and started work this past Monday. My first week of work will have to wait until another post - this post is for my Europe pictures.
London
I think London is still one of my favorite cities to be in, just because of the atmosphere. It's a big city, but it still has that cozy feel, and there's always something to do or something to see. I don't think I could stand going to the tourist attractions again, but I wouldn't mind living for a while in London.
Here we are just outside the Tower of London.
Jane Ann with anti-social Hannah.
See? I'm so much friendlier than Hannah.
Hannah and Alice are total dorks.
Jane Ann was really excited to be in St. James' Park.
Stonehenge!...is just a great big pile of rocks out in the middle of a field. Seriously, how much did we pay to get out there and see it?
Paris
Ah, Paris! City of lights! On a scale of 1 to 10, you rate a ... 4. Maybe 5. Honestly, Paris was a bit disappointing. I don't know where you find the Paris in the movies where couples take romantic strolls along little streets and sit down at quiet little cafes, but the Paris I saw was big, metropolitan, and impersonal. Paris wins the award for having the most beautifully architected (and large) public buildings and some nice parks, but there was no warmth to any of it. Maybe if the government would loosen up with the regulations, some of the peoples' personality might show through.
Chateau Chenonceaux! Some king's mistress lived here.
Notre Dame from across the river.
At the Louvre. Jane Ann in front of a statue of Cupid feeling up some chick. Seriously, check it out. He's totally copping a feel.
Venice
Venice is ultra-touristy. I don't think you could really spend more than a day there, since there's not that much to do. But it's beautiful, and St. Mark's Square at night is a lot of fun with all the cafe orchestras playing and all the people walking around. Still, it's a dying city, so I'm glad we just got in and got out.
Some random people in a gondola. We didn't really get many pictures of us in Venice.
Hannah settling quite naturally into the role of bird lady.
Florence
I like Florence because of it's cozy feel. Sure, it's dirty and flooded with tourists, but it still manages to convey a friendly, local feeling. We probably could have seen all the sights in a day, but I was perfectly content spending two and a half days there.
The Duomo towering over Florence.
Gelato in Florence is the best! Gelato in the US just doesn't compare.
Rome
By the time we got to Rome, I think we were all a bit tired. That, and I never thought that Rome was all that great. I mean, you have some spectacular ruins and other sights, but between them, there's not much. Maybe I'm just not made for big cities.
Jane Ann next to some random artifact they had on display in the arcades of the Coloseum.
Us sitting in a little alcove in the Forum.
Jane Ann models for Rick Steves' Travel Guides.
I attempt to save Jane Ann from the Mouth of Truth.
Madrid
On a scale of 1 to 10, I rate Madrid... I dunno. Because we didn't really see the city. Actually, there wasn't much to see, and we were all so tired, that we ended up skipping half the sights we had originally wanted to see. Compared to other cities, though, Madrid felt kinda... deserted. Where were all the people? We walked around a bit, trying to find some local fun, but that was largely a failure.
We did find a festival at Plaza Mayor, but it was pretty lame.
Catching some dinner at Plaza Mayor. Don't ask.
Bunny-ears are done by making a "V" with your fingers, dear. Not an "I". Or two "l"s very close together. Nice try.
We did get some very nice tapas, though. Did you know that even the small amount of alcohol in sangria makes Hannah turn bright red all over? This is before.
This is after.
Barcelona
You can tell how tired we were by how many pictures we took. We basically didn't go anywhere in Barcelona, and we took very few pictures. Not that Barcelona was bad - it was better than Madrid, at least. But Las Ramblas isn't all it's cracked up to be and the beaches aren't as nice as the ones along the northern coast. Maybe if we had gone to Barcelona first, we would have gotten a better impression of it. At least it was lively at night, and we got some good food.
Man, that was yummy. It was at a restaurant on a square just off Las Ramblas. The restaurant opened at 8:30pm, but when we got there are 7:40, the line was already forming. We each got appetizer, two courses, and dessert for 25 euros each. With the quality of the food, it could have easily been at least a $60 meal in the US.
Anyway, I would post all our pictures, but we took 2500+. But those were the highlights. Here are some more.
Hannah and I taking shots of fruit. Look at the size of the bottles!
I dunno.
She made me do it! Fob! 
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